10:52 PM

The Inner Demon Contest.

Well, for a long time I have wanted to get into sculpting the uglies of the bunch. I feel I am better suited for that then for the pretty fairies and such. They just don't usually fit my style unless they are more natural looking in appearance. Like they live on the forest floor. :)

Then I started getting into a bunch of stuff in my personal life and was just searching my soul for many answers to many questions I've had along the way. I think we all do this from time to time. I was struggling with quite a few things for awhile and suddenly it hit me. I needed to use my know-how to rid myself of my inner demons. I was seeing a therapist at the time who thought that was a horrible idea. I see it as it's not going to hurt anything more then talk therapy might already do. but...with not feeling well and a surgery I went through (not to mention all the pain I had to live with before the surgery)...the idea just kind of stalled.

UNTILLLLLL....ODA put up their inner demon contest of which I almost didn't make...thank goodness that they changed the enter date so I, as well as a few others could still join. AHA!! Yes, that was the answer I was looking for. I knew that it would get me going on that project and kick me into high gear with it. Sure...there are some freaking AWESOME prizes a person could win and that would be great and all....but now I am so into it, that's not what I am even thinking about. It's interesting to see what my inner demon looks like. Well, one of them anyhow out of about 2500. (Kidding) Of course I had an idea of what she looked like while I was sketching her out...but wow...she is emerging with such emotion now.  This one is my main demon. It wakes me up in the morning...or afternoon, depending on how I feel. It's what drives me...it gets me out of bed, well most days. It's the only thing that I feel actually "protects" me from becoming a victim again. So while this demon is not pretty (as some would be...like a seductress...etc)....and she is so sad and misunderstood and her aches and pains and complaints fall on deaf ears....I think I will keep her around for awhile. I might be purging some of her bad sides but I need to keep her around for her good ones until I learn how to deal with things better on my own. She is that nasty toned voice or that strong arm that occasionally emerges when someone says or does something to me that I don't feel is a correct way to handle such a situation. She is the one that makes me re-coil when I feel danger is near. She's also the one that has the nicotine habit...and the caffeine habit...and the one that collects all the precious little odds and ends for my studio that I may never use...and lets it pile high on my table and desk. LOL.

There is a kicker to all of this and I am hoping that I will be able to work it all out. There is another sculpt that goes with this one. It's a two parter. For me, its very emotional and I hope to express that to the audience. I hope to be able to invoke the same pain that I feel with all of this, yet not project it on to anyone else. I can't give anymore details then that...sorry. Otherwise I would be giving it all away. But I am sincerely grateful to Eneida and Tenderspirit for the opportunity of this contest. And for everything Tenderspirit has done for me. Thanks Ladies. :)


TimeforLifeVA said...

I cannot wait to see the story of your inner demon unfold. You have inspired me to find an outlet in the artistic arena to express my own issues. Not to mention the sculpt is another fantastic creation!

Love you!

Lil Sis